Waiting for someday

I'm good at pushing people away. For too long I've sat back in the shadows letting the world walk all over me. I always looked to the future, stuck waiting for someday. I think I'm finally starting to figure something out. I don't know what I'm going to be waiting for a year from now, but that's okay. Some things need to figure themselves out.
This was a good idea for me. This plan I haven't made, the roads I've never been able to figure out which to take. I'm a mess, but I'm okay. I'm going to make it past this big, huge year of changes and walk out the other side a stronger, hopefully even happier person.
But I've always been good at pushing people away. I'm excellent at saying no, at waiting until I'm ready to move foreward. It's too bad that I have never been able to feel ready, not until now. The past few weeks have been different. I'm starting to try again, trying to make relationships and get close to people. I don't want to close myself off again. I don't want to be that person anymore.
Home is safety to me. I've never liked leaving it for too long at a time. I want to stay where I am and let myself be comfortable with what I've always been. That needs to change. I can't be the shy, completely innocent person I'm known to be. Breaking out of my forever shell is going to be hard, but worth the effort. I'm going to do it. I'm going to take the plunge and make the change.

Yours sincerely.
Me.