I'm sick of being told I have the right of choice. I'm a slave to your wishes and unknowingly following you in your every move. You don't know what I'm really feeling or what I really want. You don't understand me in the slightest, because I don't let anyone in.
I'm sick of being told what to do and who to be. I'm over hopelessy worrying about what I'll be doing in a years time. I forgot myself for a moment in concentrating on everything else.
Life is hard, but we need to understand our limits. We need to know when to stop and when to continue. I need to listen to myself and talk to everyone else. I need to make myself known, I need to emerge from the shadows. Even to my best friends I don't speak in fear of disaproval. I feel the need to explain myself whenever my voice is heard. I'm constantly shut down and left feeling like I can't do anything.
So maybe I'm not the best at anything. Maybe there are people more cometent in their ways and more determant. Maybe they have more motivation, I don't know what they feel.
I know how I feel, but I'm the only one. There is one person who's trying. Someone realises how closed in and insecure I really am. There is one person who really wants to see the real me, but I'm afraid of what I could have. I'm afraid to show him my baring soul, my deepest wishes and regrets. I'm always wishing for convenience, but hoping for a challenge. I costantly contradict myself and everything I believe in, but I'm not the only one.
We're impossible, we can't be trusted and we can never be believed. We're stereotyped and thrown to the ground until we realise that this is our only opportunity tobe ourselves. Theres no point in spending a lifetime trying to be someone else. There's no mistake in speaking out, but there is some grief involved in keeping everything to myself.
I've decided to turn over a new leaf and tell everyone what I'm really feeling. I'll say the things I should've said a long time ago and I'll let all my secrets be known.
Look out wrold, I'm coming.
You'll finaly see the real me.
Yours sincerily,
Me.
