Everything.

I thought I had everything. I had friends, places to be, things to do. I didn't shut myself down, I refused to see the worst in people.
I let people walk all over me.
I've been noticing that people lie more than I ever noticed before. I don't know if they always lied, but I can see it now. No longer can I live in a world where everything is fine.
I need to open my eyes and see the truth.
I have three people I think I could count on. I used to have so many more, but now everything has changed. The three people are on my side until the end. They're trying to help me through.
I wish there wasn't anything I needed help with.
Girls are bitches. I've always known it, I've been a victim of the bitchiness more times than I can count.
This time I'm missing the one thing that helped me through. I just want her back.
Close your eyes, listen to those around you. Sometimes that sounds completely overused and cliched, but it's true. The people you once had won't be there forever. Don't let yourself become what I have faced so many times.
Innocent, spoilt, a loser. So many words, such little meaning. Innocent: someone pure of heart. Spoilt: someone who gets things that they want. Loser: well, we all know what that means.
Of all the words I could be called, these could be considered the most inaccurate of all. Perhaps I am innocent, but I am not pure of heart. Perhaps I am spoilt, but I have to work for everything I have. Perhaps I am a loser.
I always thought I had friends, but now I'm not so sure. I don't know who to trust and I really don't know what to do. I can't tell who my friends are. There are three people who could turn their heads at any moment. I can't even let myself trust them, the ones who are there for me.
Communication is overrated. Mostly, the words are a one way street. What is the point of trying to work out what someone means if they don't tell you? I just don't understand.
I don't know what I've done. This is more hurtful than the last time, the time before that. At least then I know where I went wrong, either with choosing my friends or making a stupid mistake. I'm forever apologetic for what I have done, I never meant to hurt anyone. This time though, I honestly don't believe I've done anything at all. Maybe it's just me. Maybe I'm an easy target, a loser. Easily led, manipulated.
I've been manipulated enough. Now I can tell a liar. I know when I'm being deceived. I will never let myself fall, not ever again.
Until I do. Nothing can be worse than this.

Yours sincerely,
Me.