Completely Confused

I'm so completely confused and left wondering what I'm doing and what reasons I can create as an excuse for doing so. I don't understand where I went wrong, why I feel this way or when things changed so dramatically and rationally. I want things to be the same, but they don't understand me at all.
They're making generalisations for three times of many. Maybe I'm irrational or insane some of the time, but it is a big ask to accuse me of acting so all of the time when I did something so uplifting to them, so helpful that they probably wouldn't be able to do it without me. They had no idea how much I did for them, but they do know that I did a lot.
They insult me in every breath. I can't remember a time I felt so insecure, so unsure of who I was supposed to be or where I was supposed to go. They decide that now is the time to make me feel so awful and unreasonably sinister, when all I want to do is lie down and go to sleep. I want to be left alone; my words have been lost to the experiences. I'm dealing with so many emotions and no way to let them out. When I do let them out, I'm persecuted. When I don't I'm depressed. I can't win either way, so why do I bother trying?
I feel like I have no one. I have no one to talk to, no one who wants to talk to me. I've been trapped inside for days with no way of escape. I don't want to have to live in the moment, go day by day, but I have to. Every plan I try to make is shut down. I don't want to do anything at all.
So please stop making my every move a disaster. Help me to make myself feel a little better, a little more alive.
Just stop it.

Yours sincerely,
Me.