Understand

I'm a spoilt brat, but maybe it isn't my fault. Maybe there's nothing I can do to help myself and I'll live forever in confusion. Somehow that doesn't seem right. I can't be the only person in the world who doesn't understand. I should be able to tell her things, I should be able to explain myself and the things I don't understand without her feeling like a failure.

Do you think that's what I want? Do you think I want you to feel like you've done everything you can and still I don't understand? That makes me feel like the most incompetent person in the world.

This started when she told me I scared her. It's the boiling point to me that I don't understand everything that I should. After all this time, I should be better than I am, but I'm not. For others, everything comes so easily, but not for me. For me, it takes a long time to understand.

Yours Sincerely,
Me.

This Isn't Fair.

Alright, tell me exactly what she's done she can't admit to. Tell me one thing I don't already know and I might rethink my case, but if you can't, I'm telling you now, this isn't fair. 

What happened to being neutral, the guy who goes around trying to make peace. Was that about making peace or digging up the dirt that I don't want to be a part of? Don't answer that, I already know. You want to keep a shitstorm going, I'll help you with that. I can tell him exactly what you said about his girlfriend on retreat. This girl didn't hear it, which I'm glad to say,protects you a little. I could start a fight between friends, but I'm not going to. I'm not like that. 

Well guess what,this doesn't just impact you. It impacts all of us, it impacts me. I've made friends out of you. I want more than anything for it to stay that way, but I'm one of the few people she can trust at the moment and I'm going to stick up for my friend. You are my friend too, which is why I'm giving you the option to explain to me why I, along with everyone else, am being punished for this. 

I don't care what he said, truth is, everything that comes out of that boys mouth is his own choice of words. She can't physically force him to speak. If he didn't want to be the way he is with her, he would dump her. They're sticking together. 

I just want everyone to get along. I want you to apologise to each other for being reckless and stupid and yes, I mean all of you. You're ruining friendships which were fine a week and a half ago. I'm trying to stay out of it, but I can't, because it impacts me too. 

So this is me telling you that I could hurt you by telling him what I know, but I won't. If you can't give me one good reason for this god forsaken argument; I'll be forced to choose a side, which is something I really, really don't want to so. 

Please, do the right thing here. Do the right thing for you, for her, for all of them and for me. I don't want to see any more of my friends hurt. 

Yours sincerely,

Me.